Dream Zone

By Lauri Quinn Lowenberg

Thursday, July 17, 2008 | midnight

My dad died in October of ’07. Last night I dreamed that he just died. While he was being embalmed they discovered that he was still alive. I scrambled to get all his personal property and savings back and deposited a large check back into his account. I was afraid the check was not going to clear.But then he died again, and this time they could not revive him.

–Lauren 49, Fort Collins, CO

Lauri:When you’re in the midst of the grieving process it’s normal to dream that your loved one comes back to life and then dies all over again because you are still trying to adjust to the permanency of death. Your father has been around your whole life, and now he’s no longer here. You may not have reached the acceptance stage yet, which often takes about a year. These dreams are especially common if you were not able to say goodbye before your loved one passed. Your concern in the dream about there not being enough money for the check to clear is actually waking life concern over your self-worth. Is there a part of you that feels you weren’t there enough in the end? He dies again and is unable to be revived because you are reaching acceptance. A difficult dream, I know, but good for you.

Lauren replies: I didn’t get to say goodbye to my Dad. I talked to him while he was home and doing great. The hospital called 45 minutes later. He had dropped dead in his driveway after I talked to him. And true, I wasn’t there for him like I should have been. He had a habit of drinking too much wine in the evening and I often didn’t answer the phone at night when he called.