If Kinky called the shots

By T.R. Witcher

Thursday, July 31, 2008 | midnight

Richard “Kinky” Friedman has certainly had a hell of a career: Peace Corps do-gooder in Borneo; singer-songwriter and leader of the band Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys; later a mystery novelist and columnist for Texas Monthly. In 2006 he even took a stab at politics and ran for governor of Texas, as an independent. He finished fourth (but not last), picking up nearly 13 percent of the vote.

Maybe Kinky, whom we might call a poor man’s postmillennial Texas Mark Twain, could do better than our current governor. (Yes, things here are that bad.) We know he can talk the talk: “Rules, regulations and political correctness are strangling the best thing America has to offer,” he reminds us in his new book, “—freedom.”

But, based on What Would Kinky Do?, can he tackle the tough issues? Here was his energy plan for Texas: Appoint buddy Willie Nelson as energy czar; ramp up biodiesel. On immigration: Pay Mexican generals a million bucks and dock them 10 grand every time an illegal immigrant crosses the border. “This will effectively shut off illegal immigration into Texas.”

When he’s actually trying to unscrew the world, Kinky’s an amusing read—I might consider supporting a Kinky Goes Silver campaign. But page after page there’s a little too much folksy shtick, not enough satirical stick. Still, we’ll keep our eyes on him in ’10, because at least he’s wise enough to know that politics, by its nature, eventually turns men into mannequins, until “something as natural as a smile became a mere rictus of power and greed.”

The bottom line: **