u.s. lawn mower racing association
With the blades removed before competition, the mowers of this racing series have reached a top speed of 80.792 mph.
Friday, May 23, 2008 | 2 a.m.
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Beyond the Sun
Two of my dad’s favorite Memorial Day pastimes were mowing the lawn and listening to the Indy 500 on the radio.
He would have absolutely loved the U.S. National Lawn Mower Racing Association.
This is the biggest auto racing weekend of the year with the 92nd Indianapolis 500 and NASCAR’s Coca-Cola 600 both set for Sunday. But Gasoline Alley gets a little wider this year with the Azalea City Mow Down Show Down for racing lawn mowers making its debut in Mobile — or, as it has been renamed for this weekend, “Mowbile” — Ala.
Gentlemen, start your riding mowers. And don’t forget to bag the clippings.
Actually, the blades are removed from the mowers before they are allowed to race. Other than that, they look much like the John Deeres and Toros your old man used to dream about.
Competitive lawn mower racing began in 1992 but now has chapters in 48 states and Canada.
“We’re spreading like untreated crab crass,” says Bruce “Mr. Mow It All” Kaufman, who founded the sport along with Merton G. Silbar, his partner in a Chicago public relations firm.
It was, to borrow one of Kaufman’s expressions, The Day the Turf Stood Still.
The Sodfather of modern lawn mower racing says puns about the sport have sprouted like ... well, dandelions in spring. Whether it’s the racing machines (“Mr. Mowjangles,” “Sir Lawns A Lot,” “Weedy Gonzales”), calls to action (“Get your mow-jo working”) or miscellaneous references (“Mow shirt, mow shoes, mow service,” “Coupe de Grass”) there isn’t a wisecrack he hasn’t heard — or created himself.
Although this is one sport that literally is like watching grass grow, it is also beginning to sling some serious sod.
The racing mowers have landed a TV contract with the Outdoors Channel and a PC video game based on the sport is now available. The game also was supposed to be an Xbox title, which would have exposed it to a wider audience, “but you don’t look a gift blade in the mouth,” Kaufman said.
Some of the racers, he said, would prefer to be taken a little more seriously. So on April Fool’s Day, the sanctioning body declared a “mowatorium” on any and all puns related to lawn mower racing.
All joking (almost) aside, when Kaufman was asked whether he had any advice for aspiring lawn mower racers, this was it:
“In Sod We Trust.”
SIZING UP THE RACES
Site:
Indianapolis 500: Indianapolis
Coca Cola 600: Charlotte, N.C.
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: ”Mowbile,” Ala.
Track Nickname:
Indianapolis 500: Indianapolis Motor Speedway
Coca Cola 600: Lowe’s Motor Speedway
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Azalea City Mower Speedway
Slogan:
Indianapolis 500: The Greatest Spectacle in Racing
Coca Cola 600: NASCAR’s Longest Race
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Real Grassroots Racing
Command:
Indianapolis 500: “Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!”
Coca Cola 600: “Boogity, Boogity, Boogity, Let’s Go Racin’ Boys!”
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: “Ready, Set, Mow!”
Biggest Star:
Indianapolis 500: Danica Patrick
Coca Cola 600: Dale Earnhardt Jr.
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: “Sodzilla”
Dark Horse:
Indianapolis 500: Marco Andretti
Coca Cola 600: Kasey Kahne
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: “The Lawn Ranger”
Feeder Series:
Indianapolis 500: Indy Lights
Coca Cola 600: Nationwide Series
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: NASGRASS (North American Society of Grass Racing and Sod Slinging)
Top Speed:
Indianapolis 500: 241.428 mph (Gil de Ferran, California Speedway, 2000)
Coca Cola 600: 212.809 mph (Bill Elliott, Talladega Superspeedway, 1987)
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: 80.792 mph (Bobby Cleveland, Bonneville Salt Flats, 2006)
President/Chairman:
Indianapolis 500: Tony George
Coca Cola 600: Humpy Wheeler
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Bruce “Mr. Mow It All” Kaufman
Synonym for going fast:
Indianapolis 500: Turning up the boost
Coca Cola 600: Puttin’ the hammer down
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Haulin’ grass
Synonym for young driver:
Indianapolis 500: Rookie
Coca Cola 600: Rookie
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Lawn Boy
Potential hazard:
Indianapolis 500: Oil on the track
Coca Cola 600: Debris on the track
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Lawn dart on the track
Reason out:
Indianapolis 500: Broken gearbox
Coca Cola 600: Blown engine
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Turf toe
Victory Lane beverage:
Indianapolis 500: Milk
Coca Cola 600: Gatorade
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: Mulch
Quote:
Indianapolis 500: “... and Mario is slowing down on the backstretch.”
Coca Cola 600: “Rubbin’ is racin’.”
STA-BIL Mow Down Showdown: “The grass is always greener on the other side ... but it still must be mowed."
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