McCain campaign jumps shark in boast

Paul Speirs, Las Vegas

Thursday, Sept. 18, 2008 | 2:03 a.m.

On Tuesday John McCain’s top economic adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin, held up his BlackBerry and announced to the press that John McCain invented it. Try to stop laughing and read on.

To be more accurate and truthful, qualities that so far have completely eluded the McCain campaign, Holtz-Eakin said that as chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, McCain oversaw the development of the telecommunications industry, and then held up his BlackBerry and said, “See this? He did this. That’s what he did.”

Of course, the BlackBerry and all of the telecommunications that run it are Canadian, as Canadian as Celine Dion, who, although she can do a mean rendition of “God Bless America,” remains Canadian.

So here’s to you, John McCanadian. It’s about time we had a president who put “Canada First.” (Is there anyone who still is going to vote for this guy? Really?)

In tomorrow’s news, expect to read about Sarah Palin posing next to an oil pipeline that runs through the center of a hockey rink and saying, “See this? I invented oil. And we’re going to go to Washington state and shake things up. Huh? What’s that, Charlie? Oh, Washington, D.C. My mistake. There must be an Obama-led conspiracy that made me say ‘state.’ Someone should really lose their job for that.”