The final indignity: O.J., nobody cares

By Brendan Buhler

Friday, Sept. 19, 2008 | 2 a.m.

Look around these days and you have to ask yourself: Has the whole world gone sane?

It’s not what you see. It’s what you don’t see.

What you don’t see is much interest in the trial of O.J. Simpson.

If you use a very rough measure of newsworthiness — the amount of time a certain subject turns up in Google News — Simpson’s latest courtroom drama has not captured the public imagination.

Here’s a short list of stories that are getting more than 10 times — or 40 or 50 times — the coverage Simpson’s is: the presidential campaign, Hurricane Ike, Wall Street’s meltdown, Iraq, Afghanistan and the expansion of NATO.

But where it gets really humiliating for old Orenthal James is when you look at things in his neighborhood of coverage.

Simpson is less newsworthy than ethanol. If he were a country, he would be Latvia. In football terms, Simpson is the Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2).

This time, Simpson is charged with 12 charges including robbery, kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon and coercion — charges stemming from, of all things, a 2007 dispute over football memorabilia in, of all places, a Palace Station hotel room.

On Thursday, the courtroom was less than half-full, and though neither camp was large, reporters were outnumbered by spectators, most of whom were of the retired variety. It was so calm that during a break in the trial, Simpson stood in the hallway, posing for pictures and chatting with spectators. One retiree talked football before offering Simpson some legal advice.

“They’re trying to frame you,” he said.

“They overcharged me, that’s what they did,” Simpson said.

Outside the courtroom, there were certain things missing, such as raving street preachers and men wearing barrels or chicken suits. Or any gawking citizens at all. There were only two photographers still hanging around Tuesday evening when Simpson left court. On Wednesday at lunch, only one mainstream news crew — MSNBC — filed a live report outside the courthouse.

(True, there is also an out-of-courtroom press room where reporters are allowed to use computers, talk and chew gum. But in the words of one radio reporter Wednesday:, “Oh, it’s even emptier today. Every day it gets small and smaller in here.”)

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

After the circus of last year’s preliminary hearing, the courthouse prepared for the worst, a media stampede and crowds of lunatics.

Parking lots were reserved for TV news teams’ satellite-dish vans. Extension cords and computer network cables were strung out. Marshals were shifted into the courtroom. Barricades were set up. Metro sent more than 18 officers.

How much did all of this cost?

Hard numbers aren’t ready, but Court Information Officer Michael Sommermeyer said with all the preparation, the Simpson trial costs the court about $2,000 a day more than a regular trial. It would cost more, but media organizations are being charged $50 per day for every space they take up in the parking lot.

As a rough estimate, Metro is spending about $3,700 per day paying those 18 officers — but they would be paid anyway. The only difference is they aren’t out patrolling the streets, they’re controlling nonexistent crowds by chatting, smoking and text messaging.

Who knew the world would be sane?

“Things have gone really smoothly so far,” Sommermeyer said. “I don’t know if that’s because we planned it really well or if it’s because nobody came. It’s probably both.”

He added that when the courthouse planned for the trial, it had no idea how much real news there would be this fall — events such as Hurricane Ike smashing Galveston and America’s financial institutions suffering core meltdowns and burning a hole through the earth all the way to China.

The only people truly happy with the trial, it seems, are the proprietors of one of the few lunch spots near the Regional Justice Center, the Courthouse Bar & Grill. Executive Chef Justin Mata estimates the trial is bringing in about an extra $600 or $700 a day.

To keep interest up, the restaurant offers $4 vodka and O.J. mixed drinks and a daily O.J. lunch special. So far Mata has served delicacies such as chipotle-orange glazed pork chops and rotisserie chicken with a blood orange sauce.

Also, it sells T-shirts.

“I got juiced at the Courthouse,” says one.