Friday, Nov. 27, 2009 | 2 a.m.
If there’s one thing that Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein could agree upon on the old “Saturday Night Live,” it was that Thanksgiving was good, and that fire was bad.
They said so in so many words. Actually, they said so in few words.
“Thanksgiving, good. Fire, bad.”
Oh, why couldn’t Joe Morgan and Tim McCarver, the baseball analysts, be more like Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein? Now that would really be something for which to be thankful.
Anyway, it’s the two or three days after Thanksgiving that should be good to pilgrims who call themselves Las Vegas sports fans. I can’t remember a Turkey Day weekend on which there was more to do after your Crazy Uncle Sid returns from whence he came than this one.
So before you fold the legs back up on the poker table where nieces and nephews fed sweet potatoes to the dog when aunts and uncles weren’t looking, here’s the plate of local sporting leftovers as I see them:
Full microwave day-after-Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings
Louisville at UNLV, men’s college basketball, 1 p.m. Saturday, Thomas & Mack Center.
Rebels fans are eager to see how the team matches up in its now-annual battle with one of the blue bloods of college hoops. I, on the other hand, am eager to see whether Rick Pitino will shake Lon Kruger’s hand after dissing him last New Year’s Eve when the Rebels upset the Parade All-Americans in Freedom Hall.
Pumpkin pie a la mode
HoopTV Las Vegas Invitational, men’s college basketball, Orleans Arena. Today: Wofford vs. Southern, noon; Seattle vs. Presbyterian, 2:30 p.m.; Oklahoma State vs. Bradley, 5 p.m.; Illinois vs. Utah, 7:30 p.m. Saturday’s schedule: Losers vs. losers and winners vs. winners, same four game times.
Were the Rebels not playing somebody prominent like Louisville, I’d be clamoring for them to take the Utes’ spot in the bracket so Kruger could square off against the Big Ten team he formerly coached. I am not clamoring to see Wofford vs. Southern or Seattle vs. Presbyterian or any combination thereof, because these games featuring little schools are interesting only when they are scaring the baggy shorts off bigger schools. Such as Chaminade vs. Virginia. Or Gardner-Webb vs. Kentucky. Or VMI vs. Kentucky. Or just about anybody vs. Kentucky when Billy Gillispie was coach (except UNLV in last year’s NIT).
Big, fat turkey leg
High school football playoffs, Bishop Gorman at Reed, 1 p.m. Saturday; Basic at Del Sol, 1 p.m. Saturday.
This could have been a warm, big, fat turkey leg if Bishop Gorman were playing at home instead of up in Sparks, because it is a known fact that high school sports around here are always more interesting when Bishop Gorman is involved. But if my comprehension of the convoluted state playoff system is correct — if I were you I’d bet the under — Basic is only two wins from the state championship, which is pretty neat, because it has been a while (1960) since Basic was two wins from the state championship. But it’s also neat that Del Sol is only two wins from a state football championship, because it plays only about 17 guys, and most play offense and defense. That’s old school. Like Chuck Bednarik. Or that Gordie Lockbaum guy from Holy Cross.
Hot turkey sandwich ... or cold yams
Lady Rebel Round-Up, women’s college basketball, Cox Pavilion. Saturday: UNLV vs. Boise State, 2 p.m.; Bradley vs. Washington State, 4:30 p.m. Sunday: Losers and winners at 1 and 3:30 p.m.
It’s too bad the Lady Rebels couldn’t have talked North Carolina and Centennial High grad Italee Lucas into hanging around another week, because then their tournament would have been a hot turkey sandwich served open-faced with mashed potatoes and gravy. Could be cold yams instead. I don’t know much about the women’s basketball teams from Boise, Peoria, Ill., or Pullman, Wash., other than they aren’t called UConn, Tennessee or North Carolina.
Lumpy day-after turkey gravy
UFL championship game: Florida Tuskers at Las Vegas Locomotives, pro football, noon today, Sam Boyd Stadium.
The Las Vegas team is based in Arizona and the Florida team is called Tuskers, which I think was the title of a Fleetwood Mac album I had in college. The uniforms are sort of silly, and so was the idea to start a new pro football league with only four teams. But after sneaking into Sam Boyd Stadium (credential either revoked or disappeared) to watch a couple of quarters of the Locos’ game against one of the two teams that did not qualify for the U-Full Bowl, I was mildly impressed by the talent of the players. Tickets are cheap or free, but if you didn’t receive a comped one at last week’s Locomotives game, you might try the back gate by the locker rooms and wait for the attendant to go for a smoke. Worked for me.
San Diego State at UNLV, college football, 6 p.m. Saturday, Sam Boyd Stadium.
This game should have been played in the afternoon or, given the circumstances, not at all. It will be played during nighttime to accommodate trailer park TV. So if you’re one of the two dozen or so planning to say goodbye to Rebels coach Mike Sanford (fired last week), bring a parka and a Saint Bernard.