Monday, June 14, 2004 | 8:09 a.m.
Bad to the bone
Sure, silk neckties, fancy watches and rounds of golf at some chi-chi course may be swell Father's Day gifts for some dads. But what to buy padres who like to live on the edge? Whose tough-guy personas and the eardrum-shattering, chrome-plated chopper they ride are enough to scare the sweater vests off Ward Cleaver types?
SK Smith has some suggestions. The author of "The Badass Bible" (Red Brick Press, $10.95) says a leather jacket makes a great gift for an out-of-the-ordinary daddy "To replace the one that got ripped in that dive-bar brawl." Besides helping him look cool while cruising on his hog, such outer wear can serve"double duty as a pillow, brawl-aid (toss over the opponent's head, then wallop), water container, wound dressing and impromptu wedding gift."
Replace Pop's well-worn VHS copy of "Dirty Harry" with the same flick on DVD. Smith is a fan of the movie's bank-robbery scene in which star Clint Eastwood, "leg perforated with shotgun pellets, still manages to finish the hot dog he's eating. Now that's bad ass!"
Want to spend the afternoon with your tough-as-nails father? Treat him to some new ink at his favorite tattoo parlor. "Just make sure you choose the right body art," Smith reminds, such as skulls, skeletons, liquor bottles and mermaids.
Watch out
Still stuck on the idea of getting Dad a watch, huh? Well, if you must, be sure it's one he'll really appreciate the V@mp VTV-101, for example.
The tiny television wristwatch, by a company called NHJ Limited, weighs only 55 grams and features a built-in Sony TV tuner for clear viewing of VHF channels 1 through 12, and UHF channels 13 through 62 on its pint-sized LCD screen. A pair of accompanying stereo earphones serve as the TV's antenna.
But wait, there's more: A rechargeable battery (the "docking-bay charger" comes standard) allows for up to three hours of play time. If Dad grows tired of having a TV on his arm, he can attach the neck strap (also included) and wear it on his chest. To purchase one of the tubes which retail for $199.95 visit catalog company Hammacher Schlemmer's Web site, www.hammacher.com.
Posing as presidents
Maybe Pop is the patriotic type who stores volumes of historical trivia in his head and political collectibles in every nook and cranny of the house.
If he also enjoys playing with dolls, you're in luck: Toy presidents is a recently introduced, limited-edition line of "presidential action figures" fashioned after Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and, of course, George W. Bush.
Each snappily dressed, plastic action figure ($29.95 each) is accompanied by an individually numbered certificate of authenticity. With the help of four 1.5-volt batteries, each speaks several presidential phrases. Honest Abe utters, "Four score and seven years ago ..."; and JFK reminds, "Ask not what your country can do for you ..." Among the inspiring words spoken by the Dub-ya doll: "I'm heading to Crawford after tonight." To hear snippets from the other commanders in chief, or to order the action figures, visit www.toy presidents.com.
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