Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2015 | 2 a.m.
It’s the holidays, and I’ve got a lot of problems with you people.
That’s right. Pull the aluminum pole out of the crawl space and put a meatloaf in the oven. It’s time for Festivus, that magical, made-up, rage-filled holiday for the rest of us.
For those of you without a TV in the ‘90s, Festivus — a Costanza family tradition — burst to the public consciousness with a 1997 episode of “Seinfeld.”
It is marked by a holiday dinner — hence the aforementioned meatloaf — followed by the airing of grievances and finally feats of strength. The celebration isn’t over until somebody pins the host to the ground.
In the Season 9 episode The Strike (other story lines: Kramer’s strike of H&H Bagels and Jerry dates a two-face) Frank Costanza reveals how he came to shun the commercialism of Christmas after getting into a fight with another man over a doll. “As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way,” Frank says.
The holiday is celebrated Dec. 23, and the symbol of Festivus is not a tree but an unadorned aluminum pole. (“I find the tinsel distracting,” Frank says.)
To mark the holiday in Las Vegas, Grand Bazaar Shops is inviting people to a Festivus gathering on Wednesday that will include a traditional pole and feats of strength.
Guests will be challenged to lift a 100-pound dumbbell over their heads. Those taking part will get a complimentary photo of themselves competing, free Starbucks drink samples and Grand Bazaar Shops coupon books.
The Festivus gathering will be from noon to 4 p.m., and activities will be offered in the center’s Grand Allée. Grand Bazaar Shops is located at the entrance to Bally’s on the Strip.
Lest you think Festivus is not serious, check out Amazon, where you’ll find page after page of Festivus-related merchandise — T-shirts, sweaters, ornaments, coffee mugs and books, including one by “Seinfeld” writer Dan O’Keefe, “The Real Festivus.” According to O’Keefe, his father invented a version of Festivus that was celebrated long before “Seinfeld” gave it a cult following.
Others who recognize Festivus include GOP presidential candidate Sen. Rand Paul, a “Seinfeld” fan who has not been shy about airing his grievances about fellow members of Congress.
If you’re serious about celebrating, you can even buy your own Festivus pole, known, of course, for its high strength-to-weight ratio.
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