This message is brought to you by the word ‘Incredible’

Mr. President,

I realize it is unusual for you to receive a letter from a word in the English language, but we self-respecting adjectives can’t take much more of your semi-literate babble. Each of us has served a specific purpose to convey singularity, the basic purpose of sophisticated lexicons since Antiquity. My colleague, Tremendous, is miffed at being constantly misused. Our beloved descriptor, Beautiful, is falling about laughing. Poor Perfect is on suicide watch. We haven’t been able to locate Bigly or Yuge for comment. As for me, I am livid to the core.

During your recent daily campaign rallies, disguised as coronavirus press briefings, I seem to be every third word out of your mouth. In every other sentence, you assert that I am the proper adjective to define how great — Great, by the way, sends thanks for so much exposure — a job you are doing. That devalues my import and impact down to zero.

Please understand, I have been in regular usage since the 15th century, dating back to the Latin incredibilis. Webster captures my meaning closely enough: “Too extraordinary and improbable to be believed.” In truth, my only proper usage in your case is to define the fact that a large, fairly educated nation has chosen you as its leader and has yet to rid itself of you.

Finally, can’t you please find someone on your swollen staff of sycophants who can put us words into complete sentences for you? Clarity matters even when, as usual, you are twisting truth. Americans need to know with whom they are dealing. Remember what Joyce Carol Oates observed decades ago: Words are all we have to stand between us and the darkness.

Sincerely,

Incredible

Mort Rosenblum, a foreign correspondent for 50 years, now produces The Mort Report (mortreport.org), non-prophet journalism.