Saturday, July 10, 2021 | 2 a.m.
View more of the Sun's opinion section
In the beginning of California’s COVID-19 shutdown, Debbie Zomparelli was happy to be getting home food deliveries from Serving Seniors, the San Diego-based nonprofit that offers meals, housing, social activities and other support programs to its clients.
But when she thinks back on her year of isolation, stress and illness, Zomparelli is most grateful for the nourishment that Serving Seniors delivered to her heart through her phone.
That lifeline was provided by the Serving Seniors Connections Program, which paired seniors who were housebound by the pandemic with volunteers who would phone them regularly for mood-lifting chats. The 66-year-oldZomparelli was paired with 16-year-old Anirudh Ramachandran, and what looked like an odd-couple matchup turned into a friendship that gave both parties a boost when they needed it most.
“Talking to him gave me hope and something to look forward to,” said Zomparelli, who lives in Oceanside, Calif. “Without the calls, I probably wouldn’t have had such a good outlook. I like to have the outside world around. Talking to a young man in high school was easy for me because I’m young at heart.”
Despite their 50-year age difference, Zomparelli and the young man she affectionately calls “Ani” had plenty to talk about. Like their mutual love of action movies, particularly the “Bad Boys” and James Bond franchises. And their shared interest in tennis, which Zomparelli played as a La Mesa high school student.
Then there was the simple fact that they were two human beings trying to make the best out of a stir-crazy situation.
“The more I talked to Debbie, the more I realized how fun it was and how I really looked forward to actually talking to someone, and not just watching YouTube and doing school work,” said Anirudh. “It really pushed me to talk to myfriends online through Zoom or Discord. You want to hear a voice. That really helped me with the pandemic. I’m pretty sure I would have gone insane if I hadn’t talked to anyone for a year.”
Anirudh was motivated to join the Connections Program by love and loss. For a good chunk of his childhood, his grandfather took care of him while his mother was at work. The grandfather returned to India a few years ago, and he passed away during the pandemic. The family couldn’t travel, so all they could do was watch the cremation over Zoom.
Volunteering for Serving Seniors gave Anirudh the chance to grieve while also honoring the memory of the man who taught him so much about living a compassionate life.
“When my grandfather started to take care of me, he had recently lost his daughter and his wife. He was going through a lot of hardship at the time, but he was so caring,” Anirudh said in a Zoom call from the family’s home in 4S Ranch.
“He was always asking me what I was doing and offering to take me to the park. Looking back, it amazes me how selfless he was. I really wanted to reciprocate that to seniors. From my experience with Debbie, I was able to display what I learned from my grandpa, and that gave me a great sense of closure.”
For Zomparelli, knowing there was always a phone call with Ani in her near future was a huge comfort during a dark time. Last year, multiple health problems landed her in the hospital and in a rehabilitation center. She also got such a severe case of COVID-19, she almost died. Her Connections phone calls were the small thing that made all the difference in the world.
“I was in rehab for six months solid, and it was awful. But we were able to talk quite a few times, and I really looked forward to it so much,” Zomparelli said. “Talking to Ani made me more aware of what was going on outside my little room. It just made me happy to hear that he was having fun and doing things.”
Neither Zomparelli nor Anirudh expected their phone experiment to turn into a sustaining friendship, but Christina Selder is not surprised. As Serving Seniors’ director of community engagement, Selder has heard about how connected the Connections teams really were. One volunteer started a two-person book club with her senior, and another pair bonded by pulling up music on YouTube and singing together.
“In this whole pandemic, it would have been easy for our volunteers and our seniors to just say, ‘I’m going to wait this out.’ But everyone said, ‘No. This is my call to action. I want to be resilient. I want to give back. And this pandemic is not going to stop me,’ ” Selder said. “I was impressed with the creativity of everybody in this program, and how the connection was equal.”
As Serving Seniors begins reopening its congregate dining sites and the Gary and Mary West Senior Wellness Center, the Connections Program is winding down in favor of in-person activities. But Debbie Zomparelli and Anirudh Ramachandran are going to keep talking.
Because that’s what friends do.
“For sure we’ll keep talking,” Anirudh said. “We have the same interests. We like the same sports. It’s always fun telling her how my day was. I’m looking forward to actually meeting her. Maybe we can see ‘Fast and Furious 9.’ ”
Karla Peterson is a columnist for The San Diego Union-Tribune.
