Sunday, Feb. 5, 2017 | 2 a.m.
So, there’s a joke going around that goes something like this:
President Obama, Secretary Clinton and President Trump all die and show up in heaven at the same time. They are confronted by God, who is sitting down with a chair at his left side and one at his right.
God tells all three that he is happy to allow them to enter but needs them to tell him what they have done with their lives.
President Obama tells God that his entire life he has worked to help people of lesser circumstances to get ahead in life and that when he was president he continued to help all he could.
God acknowledged Obama’s good works and asked him to come into heaven and sit at his right hand.
God turned to Hillary and asked her the same question. She responded by telling God that she had spent her entire life trying to advance the cause of women and children all over the world. God acknowledged her good works and invited her into heaven to sit at his left hand.
God then turned to President Trump and asked, “And what do you have to say for yourself?”
To which Trump replied, “You are in my chair!”
Depending upon your sense of humor, that may or may not be funny. But it is telling.
After all, according to the Bible, God created heaven and earth, man and woman, beautiful lakes and stunning mountains, grassy fields and massive oceans, and clean air and water to nourish us. And later he gave us all Ten Commandments by which we should live our lives.
And he did most of that in just six days. He then commanded us to rest on the seventh.
We are barely two weeks into the Donald Trump presidency and this latest incarnation of a lord has refused to rest — not even one day.
What he has so far managed to do is begin to upset the delicate bond between woman and man which, as you may remember, was quite challenging during the Garden of Eden days but has become less so ever since the females of our species have asserted themselves as co-equals (at least).
If you doubt that, just roll the tape on the women’s marches across the country on the day after the inauguration. Speaking of the inauguration, I don’t know whether it is real or fake news (and that may not matter anymore in our new world), but somewhere I read that when the president took the oath of office he finished with the words, “ So help me, me.”
He has also managed to install people in the environmental agencies that are hellbent on destroying that which the biblical God has created — namely, clean air and water. Trump has installed leadership in our legal departments that appear determined to challenge the biblical God’s commandments to treat his creation with respect and to treat the least of them with an added measure of assistance.
The new God, we will call him the Lord Trump, has also determined that those who run the various kingdoms under his command will express complete fealty or be banished without so much as a “You’re fired!”
One of those kingdoms could be the Kingdom of Nevada, which is well known for not having bought all that Lord Trump was selling during the last election.
Nevada is a kingdom led by Gov. Brian Sandoval, a man with sanity intact. It is inhabited by immigrants and women and workers – the majority of whom find no solace in Lord Trump’s tweets, only fear and anxiety.
No good Bible story is complete without a devil. So ours will be called Lucifer Bannon. He sits on Lord Trump’s right shoulder, whispering all manner of evil thoughts designed to undo all that the other Bible’s God has so painstakingly created over many millennia. What we have today isn’t the greatest but we continue to work toward making our union more perfect. And now the people are concerned that all they have accomplished will be reversed.
Obviously, there are people who choose to believe in one Bible story and not in another. That is our right as citizens of this great country. But there are people, especially in the Kingdom of Nevada, who fear that under this new Lord Trump, compassion and understanding may be things of the past.
Those who believe in a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body; whether two people who love each other can marry under our Constitution just as every other citizen; whether immigrants to our great country can live and work in peace without fear of their families being broken apart and children separated from their parents; and whether man’s impact on the Earth created by the biblical God will be allowed to worsen under this new pretender to the heavenly throne.
Some people in our state would like to just tell this new fellow to “Go to hell.”
But I have a different idea. If we want someone to stand up for the people of Nevada and their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness without fear of what this new pretender might do to them, tell them not to go to hell but to go to Heller!
Sen. Dean Heller is one of the few people in the new world order who can stand up to all that Lord Trump might try to do. After all, Heller is seen as one of them and will be expected to act in lockstep with all that the new lord commands.
But Nevadans know better. They know that Heller is one of them and that he will resist the temptation of going along to get along. At least they hope he will stand up for Nevadans and, in turn, they will stand up for him.
I know I started this with a joke. But this whole thing is no laughing matter.
It is time for Nevadans to go to Heller before we don’t recognize this place we call home.
Brian Greenspun is editor, publisher and owner of the Sun.